Audio!!

Hello all!

As promised - we now have audio on the blog!! Whooohoooo!

It's taken me FIVE attempts this evening to get this on here...temperamental html I tell you!

Anyway - please scroll down to underneath the blogs to find some highly interesting and informative audio - as well as some rather amusing stuff!

Please note however, the website I've had to use for hosting (which has been suggested to me by one of my MA tutors) sometimes has some, what I consider, inappropriate adverts...I can't do anything about this rather annoyingly.

So unless you really do want to meet some 'hot' girls...please just ignore that bit!!

(they aren't even very pretty - so sorry for the disappointment...but there are some good gambling tips too...bonus...?!)

But anyway - it is a shame about this website, but it is the only one that will support the files which I wanted to upload (capacity-wise) without charging me extortionate amounts of money to do so...and I'm poor..I'm a working journo!

Lovely - well enjoy and again, let me know what you think!

Tutty-bye for now!

It is done!

The documentary is done, finished mixed and mastered and mesmerising - well, one can hope...!

I didn't quite finish it off during the week discussed below - but I was very close! Since then I've been nit-picking and fiddling with it - it's like a rash you just can't leave alone!!

I'm very pleased with the documentary - I think it's gone well. Quite how it's going to be marked I don't know - now starts the nervous wait to results day (I don't know when that is yet...!)

The deadline is next friday - yes - NEXT FRIDAY! (I don't think I've ever finished something so far away from a deadline!)

I actually completed everything Thursday night - with officially a week and 15 minutes to go (it was a quarter to midnight!)

But, like I say - I have been double-checking things and just minor adjustments and now I'm satisfied!

Went back to work last Monday so it's all been done when I get back - hense the late nights...but now I must go to bed as I have work in the morning...and have to get up at 5 am - no rest for the wicked eh?!

Thank you to all of you who have made comments so far, it's very kind of you!! Keep it up if/when you have time - it's great to hear from all of you! And...remember - spread the word!

Just one final thing - audio will be appearing on my blog very soon - like little examples of what music we made over in America etc. etc. and I've also got to check whether I can put a listen again feature for my documentary on here for you to listen - but there may be some copyright issues with that - I don't know.

Right - bedtime.

Happy Happy Wee Nat

Well slap my thigh and envisage Freddie Mercury in drag hoovering!

Solved the problem! Did a little bit of housekeeping on my computer!

Do the shake n vac and put the bloggies back - do the shake n vac and put the blo-oggs back!

SIGH OF RELIEF!!

Oh, and I'm back from physio - ow! Not as big an ow as before, but still - ow!

That woman is a genius though - my muscles don't quite know what's hit them - but no pain, no gain!

hmm, need food - hungry and achey!

Look at the date - does it match this date - Monday 8th September OH YES I THINK IT DOES!!

Ah ha ha ha ha haaaaaaa!! Je suis up-to-date!

My fingers may be burning, my eyes may be blurring, my speech may be slurring, but my blog says the day that I'm actually writing on - thank God for that!

Of course this couldn't happen without it's difficulties - oh no, that would just be too good to be true.

I'm still trying to sort out the problem my blog has decided to acquire overnight - but I'm working on it - posting manically desperate messages on various blogger help forums (to which no-one has replied yet ~~willing someone to reply~~)

For some reason, every blog that I've written today isn't appearing on the first page of my website...it seems to be stuck on yesterday. I mean I know I wrote some good stuff yesterday - but there's no need to be clingy about it!

What I've had to do unfortunately is change the Blog Archive bit to just listing the months and numbers of blogs written within that month, and then the ones I've done today are miraculously appearing.

This is annoying - because, as I extrapolated earlier - I need people to be grabbed by the titles and things to read on and down the page - and it means the blog titles now don't appear in the blog archive and therefore, you can no longer just click on one particular blog and read it - which is upsetting to say the least right now!

Like I said, I am trying to sort it, I have no idea why it's doing this - but hopefully we'll be back up and running properly again soon.

For the meantime though - please scroll down! I'm going to get a wiggle on with the audio now, which means decamping upstairs to my mocked-up studio, where I have no internet...the penalties of living in an old house with walls too thick for WiFi...!

I'm then off to see my back-breaking physio again today, so hopefully she can try to sort me out a little more. Quite how I'm going to feel later and tomorrow I don't know - but I think it's going to be pain-killer a-go-go because I CANNOT stop working now.

Cue: inspirational 'Lord of the Rings'/'Braveheart'/'Gladiator' style battle pep-talk.

Concurrency is so close I can taste it!! Sunday 7th September

I've writen the most complicated blog today - it has taken me a while! I love the fact that I've tried to tackle the ontology (what is) music and also the concept of 'understanding'!

As if I needed anything else to think about - today has just reinforced how much I want to do a PhD.

Plus I have the initials for a PhD - Natalie Oram, N.O ----> Dr. NO - blatently has to be done!

What's really great about this blog is that all that stuff I've written today could never even get a vague mention in my actual documentary - but by teasing people online in the documentary - they can enlighted themselves to a whole back-story and my gargantuan ramblings! Verbosity doesn't lend well to broadcast, but it does to blogs - phew!

Hopefully there are some things that I've written which will spur some interesting debate as well - so, again hopefully, people may come across my blog and comment - I hope so!

I did want to get completely up-to-date today - sadly that hasn't happened because of the complexity of writing that massive blog, and also another couple of things I had to do...and yes more things which are stealing my time away - the little time imps - we don't like them!

I'm going to another gig tonight which ironically again has a similar idea behind it with the whole 'let's throw a load of musical strangers together and see what happens' kind of thing.

So again - useful for my MA. It is also in a licenced establishment, and I'm off my tablets now - so yes I will have a drink or two - I think I deserve it!

I've got lots of pieces of paper with my blog address on it too - so looks like I'm forcing myself to go because I have to effectively mail shot people in a pub...pub shot maybe...?!

Got to dash - leaving in a minute!

And so my 9-day MA completion tour-de-force begins - Saturday 6th September

As you may have seen - I have blogged like there is no tomorrow today. I am so close to being up-to-date and ACTUALLY BLOGGING ON THE DAY I'M WRITING ABOUT!! How exciting!

I've also spent a little bit of time trying to jazz up my blog page too - so cunningly I've finally worked out how to get a slide show on here, and once I'd worked that out - I've decided to have 2.

Also, something that was really annoying me was that the right-hand side of my blog, when you start scrolling down the blogs is just empty and black - I didn't like it!

So, where I was originally going to put everyone's biographies as separate blogs, I also worked out a way to get them running down the right-hand side on every page.

It just balances up the page nicely - and highlights the people involved permanently on the page - which I think is important.

I'm really pleased with what it looks like now, especially as the biographies span the entire length of the page to match the lengths of the blogs (virtually) so it's nice and neat and logical to the eye.

I have been thinking about trying to make my blog as pleasing to the eye as possible - as I'm conscious that people may get bored with a big bulk of text, especially as there aren't too many things which I can link to (i.e. external links to other websites) because the project IS the project and sits within itself. We don't have any external links, we are self-supporting, and this type of project is at the vanguard of it's kind - so I can't even link to similar items.

Personally, I think that having lots of things to click on, or look at or whatever to make a page interactive is really important to sustain someone's interest - so as I can't link to too much, having the biographies running down the page is a more than adequate substitute.

The only thing that is a little annoying, which I can't do anything about is now with the slide show at the top - you don't see any of the text/blogs until you scroll down a little. If I make the slide show any smaller however - it'll kind of lose the point I think.

So, I'm sticking with what I've done as I think it looks good.

Another thing that I've spent quite long on today is the order of that right-hand column and playing around by trial and error with exactly what should come where. I've settled on having the blog archive at the top, purely because you can't see the blogs straight-off when the page loads up.

Then I figure a picture of me, and a quick 'welcome to my blog' and explanation of what the blog is about naturally wanted to come next (particularly with my stupid cheesy smile - it's so 'Have a Nice Day!!') Then my little biography, then a tease for people to continue scrolling for the rest of the biographies, and finally the biographies in alphabetical order.

For the members of the team who have websites - I've linked those websites from their profile pictures within the biography list - so some of the photos are interactive at least.

Finally, I'm also particularly pleased with the layout because people generally want to know about people (because, regardless of how much we may protest this - we all are a little bit nosey!) so by having the biographies there - it teases people to scroll down, I've then made my titles as grabbing as I possibly can (and sometimes that was really hard when the stuff I'm talking about is mainly me saying I don't have any time!!) Also I've made sure there are moving avatars and pictures in most of the blogs - which hopefully then should lead people's eyes across to the left to read the blogs.

I hope!

Aaah, the psychology of the publicist and advertiser (and supermarkets!)

Sell Sell Sell!! Wednesday 6th September

Just very quickly - I had a chat with my News Editor Gareth about how I might be able to sell my MA project today.

A problem that I may, and probably will have is because I already work for GCap Media/Global, under my contract I won't be able to sell my project anywhere else other than GCap - and they don't really have programmes which would include this type of thing, well, documentaries in general, because of time - documentaries tend to be quite long (i.e. my documentary is about 6/7 minutes per episode, or will be once I've actually done it!)

We did come up with one option though - I could always try pitching it to Classic FM - they may, just may want to pick up on it.

Fingers crossed.

Media Interest - Tuesday 5th September

BBC Baby Yeah!

I had an email about a week ago from BBC Radio Devon inviting me to be a studio guest to talk about the Counterpoint of Tolerance project -yey!!!

I had to clear it through work first - as I work for one of BBC Radio Devon's competitors...but my lovely boss Stuart said that I could go ahead and do it because he knew it would help with my MA project - which was very kind of him as technically this is a conflict of interest within my contract with Gemini FM.

The show I've just been on is The Late Show, which gets broadcast across not just all of Devon, but Cornwall, the Isles of Scilly and all the way up to Gloucester and Bristol inclusive (roughly!) So, basically the entire South West quarter of the country!

I was on for about half an hour - partly because we had to fill because their phones had broken in the Exeter studio (it's reassuring to know BBC has the same problems as every one else!)

I managed to get a good plug for my MA project, and obviously the Counterpoint of Tolerance project - and also got hailed as Devon's youngest professional conductor (at least employed by Devon County Council).

It was great and I really enjoyed it. I'm going to be so tired tomorrow at work , as the show didn't start until 10pm and I was there until about 11 anyway and then had another hour's drive home - but it's worth it definitely!

I did have an idea to try and get some of the others involved in the CpOT project on air via the phone - but then obviously with the fact that the phones weren't working - and also the fact that it would be quite complicated, that didn't happen - which is a shame, but keeping it simple usually works best anyway.

The interview came off the back of a press release which Devon County Council sent out about me winning a place on the project, and also getting more publicity for them about having a young female conductor.

Other things which have happened since the press release was sent out, which I have completely forgotten to tell you about is that various local papers and organisations have been in contact with me to interview and make features about me (so fun - but really unexpected and slightly embarrassing with the feeling that I'm blowing my own trumpet seemingly!)

In addition of course, we also had the Idyllwild journalists in when we were over in America (which I think I did manage to mention) and the New York Times and LA Times will be interviewing us at some point too.

So media attention is picking up on this project - which I'm pretty pleased about just as that stands regarding the America project - but also it is making the whole concept of the fact that I'm doing my MA project on it seem even more exciting.

I wonder if this really is something I could get commissioned/published..? Hmmm me thinks.

I'm feeling as if I've picked a rather good topic - now I just have to do it really well...which I was going to try and do anyway!

Networking - Sunday 31st August

I went to a superb gig this evening - and I know what you're thinking, "She's always complaining about not having any time, yet she has time to go to a gig...Natalieeeee...??!" (and cue *disapproving looks*) Well, no it wasn't like that - it actually was useful as part of my MA - so nuh! (and cue *childish raspberry blowing*)


Basically, a collection of internationally renowned individual jazz players have been brought together for a one-off gig here in mighty Devon...RING ANY BELLS?!!


I heard about it through a family friend called Jack, who is very into his jazz! They had played together only once before earlier this week (Wednesday 27th August at the Bude Jazz Festival in Cornwall).


So I went along with the aim of talking to them about their experiences and what they were doing tonight and what they'd done earlier in the week.


They are a collection of some of the best New Orleans players from Europe. Two were from Sweden, two from Norway, and two from the UK (one from our very own 'English Riviera' - Torquay!)


Despite the fact that it was in a delightful licenced establishment (not that I can drink at the moment because of my silly (not-really-doing-anything) anti-inflammatory tablets (which yes - I'm still on at the moment..!)) and it was a thoroughly enjoyable evening - it was an opportunity that could not be missed.


I did speak to them and they were all most intrigued by the Counterpoint of Tolerance project - which is generally the reaction I get from most people when it pops up in conversation.


They were so interested in my musical story that they invited me to play with them as well - HEHEHEHEHE!! So I did - and oh how much fun I had!

By the end of the night, I gave one of them my blog website address - so he can find out more about what we're doing.


I love the way musicians, and creative people/artists do this - there's this vast unspoken communication that occurs between like-minded people that spurs interest and understanding in things that other similar people are doing - we're so friendly and lovely! Musical camaraderie!


Anyway, he's flying back to Gothenburg tomorrow and he said that he'd have a look at my blog when he gets home - I hope he does and makes comments etc. because, well, what an authority on this subject! Also, it would be very interesting to get someone else's opinions on this America project from the perspective of a person who's done something similar themselves.


So if any of Derek Winter's Sunshine International Jazz Band are reading this - hello!! And thank you once again for letting me play - it was utterly AMAZING!!

Overblogged - Saturday 30th August

How many blogs have I written up today?!


10 to be precise!


Today has been a really good day because I've had the opportunity to sit down quietly, not talk to anybody and get blogging! I am pleased!


I seem to work rather well just sitting there and attacking my blog all in one go. It's not just that I've got ALOT done today, but also, by writing them all up in one go, it's really consolidating everything in my mind, which I feel is going to help with my contextual review.


Also - by reading everything over again, I can add details that I've subsequently realised. With that little bit of retrospective thought, the blogs are becoming nicely comprehensive, AND I know that at the time when I was writing them long-hand, I didn't have the time to spend on writing things in such detail.


So luckily, the way in which I have had to do this blog, and other things to do with my MA, is actually working (I feel) better than it would have if all the blogs were made on the day they're talking about. I hope you agree!


The only thing that is quite annoying, is the more I do to catch up, the more I have to write on here retrospectively (like today's blog) about how much I've done to catch up - FRUSTRATING!




Today for example, when I was writing the 10 million blogs earlier, I really wanted to add as the last one - I'VE DONE LOADS OF BLOGS TODAY - WHOOHOOOO! But alas, I couldn't because it would mess up the vague continuity and numeracy I have managed to create on here. Which means now I have to back-date today at the next opportunity I have to blog - humph!


I can live with it though - it's just how it has to be!


One final thing - again I know there's a big gap between last Monday (bank holiday) and today since I wrote anything - well, again, that's work for you..and y'know my lovely car I mentioned, the one with the power steering and really light gear box which is aiding my slightly frail and injured body at the moment - well, it got a puncture (offside front - details!!) I had to take it to the mechanics to get it repaired - as per usual - I can never have a simple puncture - consequently, the repair sort of worked but didn't entirely (through no fault of our lovely mechanic!) - so I've now had to buy two new alloys (and yes - my new car is that posh!) - my bank account hates me - then had to go back to the mechanics on Tuesday night (for the second night running) and wait to get those put on.



This keeps on happening!! When I do get away from work, and I think that I may have some time to actually get some MA work done - SOMETHING ELSE will always steal that time away!!

I've decided on my week off next week ('week off' - now that's funny! Could that be an anymore inappropriate phrase for next week?!!) I'm going to become a hermit. I am not going out in my car, so it cannot pick up any other ailments, I'm not going to do anything that would need me to move that much - so my brokenness doesn't get any worse, I'm not going to think about radio station work, or the opera that we're writing for CpOT (which I've just realised hasn't had a mention at all for a very long time on here - I'm composing stuff on top of all of the things I've been talking about too - no wonder the opera's called AH! hehe!)



From Saturday 6th September - Sunday 14th September...



This is Natalie doing her MA.

One month to go - Tuesday 26th August

Thought I'd just mark the moment! ONE MONTH, thirty one-ish days, seven-hundred and forty-four hours and so on.

Makes me feel better if I think of it this way -> one twelfth of a year.

I've organised a week off starting the 8th September - so that's when everything has to be done.

I'm going to try and get some of it done in the days in between obviously.

I'm not working this weekend - so more work's going to be done then too.

Is this a window of time I see before my eyes? I hope so.

Oh and just one final thing - never guess what AMAZING thing I worked out yesterday...

For the 10 of us to get to and from America, just merely to get to the stage where we meet each other and get started on the project - we collectively travelled nearly 41 and a half THOUSAND miles - that's nearly twice around the world.

How cool is that?!! And yes, that has gone in my script!

I'm so Star Wars - Monday 25th August

Episode 1 is virtually done!

(haha - epis-obi-wan is virtually done maybe...!!)

It is amazing what you can do when you have a day off. After today's successes - I've fathomed just how I might be able to complete my MA project.

I'm going to have to bite the bullet and just get some days off work and get my head down and just concentrate on the documentary. I have tried to do both at the same time, but I'm getting stressed and irritable about the documentary and that's not helping the composition of the whole thing.

First thing tomorrow I'm going to organise that. Simple.

Anyway - enough of that - what have I done today?

Well, thankfully all the naming and sorting of my audio has just reconfirmed to me exactly which bits I want to use, where it's going to go and basically what I'm doing.

Thankfully today, episode 1 has written itself. My narration/script I've written down (again in the notebook - seriously this notebook deserves a commendation!) and recorded in my now mocked-up home studio.

There simply isn't enough time at work to use theirs, which is a little annoying, but my make-shift studio appears to work rather well, and I don't think you can tell studio from stud-ish-io.

I found all the audio I wanted and clipped it up really quickly by freakishly landing my cursor exactly where I needed it to go pretty much first time round for each clip. Nearly all of the audio I extracted edited very logically as well, and all in all it just worked today.

That little problem I mentioned earlier about losing some music from my Fostex I've solved even more today - I merely wrote some more in about half an hour - so even musically and compositionally things have gone well today.

I'll still need to write up my script properly on the computer and actually lay out the script in the proper way - but that shouldn't take too long.

I have found one part I'm going to have to sort out; copyright - which is something that I wanted to avoid - this is why I'm trying to generate all the music from what we've done and stuff I'm writing myself, but one part just needed a certain song, and now I've put it in, with a little Audition mastery, it sounds so good that I cannot take it out.

So I need to check what I need to do about copyrightable material.

Listening back to the whole thing - which is just under 6 minutes (a THIRD DONE!! YEY!!) I've managed to harness the excitement of the whole project - it sounds exciting, jubilant, enjoyable, ground-breaking, multi-cultural, young and everything you'd expect a documentary about this type of project I'm remarking upon.

Something which I mentioned in my MA proposal a few months ago before I left Falmouth to start my job is that I really wanted the documentary to be like a carnival of different voices, different accents, different music, different sounds etc. etc. And I've got it - phew!

Without wanting to give away too much - it starts with a montage of the 10 composers.

Ooh, while I'm talking about this - that was a little issue earlier today - how on earth am I going to introduce myself as one of the 10 composers involved AS WELL AS the journalist behind the documentary...hmmm I thought to myself.
I don't want to be the subject of the documentary - but I do need to make people aware that I am involved in the process - otherwise it's 9 different composers brought from across the world to work together writing a collaborative piece of music - which just isn't true...!

So what I've done is just quickly said something like "10 young composers have been brought together etc. etc. I was one of the 10 chosen to take part in this ground-breaking project, here are the other nine..." and then I cut to my delightful montage.

It's the only way I could think of doing it - just a brief mention, and then that's that.

Any suggestions on this would be useful - or comments if you can think of another way of doing it!

As I've already said - Episode 1 is virtually finished. All I need to do now is write the final bit of my script which will have the online tease to this very blog (how up-to-date I am! pity about the blog not being completely up-to-date, but it will be!) and then a coming up on the next programme...easy peasy!

Stumped for a title - Sunday 24th August

Seriously - don't try and do an MA project and hold down a permanent job at the same time.

2nd Sunday down this month at work - nightmare of a day - freaking out about the project oooooh just a little bit.

That's all for today - I've been awake since 4am...I'm trying to do MA work, I've named some of the audio and noted down notable bits, but it's just becoming all a bit much today.

Tomorrow however, is a Bank Holiday...I'm off.

Episode 1 is going to be done tomorrow. It must be done tomorrow, complete, finito, done and dusted.

Meanwhile I sleep.

MAimed - did you see what I did there!! The subtleties of languge - Saturday 23rd August

I meant to write this up yesterday - but I had to pop into work to do some stuff and I'm walking like John Wayne because of the physio treatment I had on Thursday...which is not that conducive to blogging, or even sitting down at the moment! Useful!

I can't even sleep on my back right now because it feels like I had an elephant on a pogo stick breaking the world record for how long an elephant can bounce on a pogo stick for on my back - owwww!

So I pretty much felt like death yesterday after coasting myself home from work in my beautiful car with a really light gear box and power steering.

I've then laid in bed today (on my side!) writing this blog, again on my trusty notepad!

Basically, I've remembered that I completely forgot to mention quite an intrinsic element of my project - a small, but 'dealable' issue that I had with interviewing people while over in America.

It wasn't really that much of an issue, because as you know, I got the interviews done and they're great.

I have to thank the others for how hard they worked for my interviews and for me.

But something that cropped up is the point of language differences.

Although we all had to have a 'proficiency' in English for this whole music project to work in the first place, there were still barriers caused by differences in language and consequently understanding.

I find this very interesting as the entire project is about 10 people communicating and working together and trying to prove that 10 people from different cultural and ethnic backgrounds can work together and create something collaboratively.

I think we are proving this.

Musically, we all speak the same language, and we all speak it fluently. It means that we can pick up our instruments, or anything lying around as we quite often did (!) and communicate through music.

We all connected to each other's train of thought whilst playing and understood what we all were meaning, picked up on those threads and communicated/interacted with that and indeed each other.

Part of the idea behind the Counterpoint of Tolerance project is however, deciphering how we (people of the world) get ourselves into divisions and sometimes conflict because of these divisions, and how we (the Counterpoint of Tolerance team) can dissect that and find a way somehow of interaction without those divisions.

But even we have divisions, although they've never developed into conflict. Instead we've just had to find ways of agreeably working around these divisions, which sometimes are more timely to find than others, but we always found (hopefully) a solution that pleases everyone.

The main 'division' (if you want to call it that) is that of language. Myself, Alex, Michael, Martine and David are the only ones for whom English is our 'native' tongue - that's less than 50% of the team. I'm certainly not saying that this is wrong, I don't believe that everyone in the entire world should speak and understand English - that would be wrong.

Even between us 'native-English-speakers' however, there were things that we may have to explain in an additional manner because of nuances in British English and American English, and differences between those cultures (like the whole bar = measure, quaver = eighth note thing...I still have to think twice when I work that one out and try to remember that!!)

Elsewhere, Jxel, Ivan, Syrse and Claudio for example all speak Spanish fluently - and could easily communicate with each other. Then however, there are differences and specific nuances attached to Spanish spoken in Mexico, Spanish spoken in Argentina and Spanish spoken in Spain.

This ultimately meant that in conversations between Jxel, Ivan, Claudio and Syrse there were hiccups in understanding - namely something (usually very small and inconsequential..and sometimes rude (hehe!!)) had to be gone over again and approached in a different way or explained differently.

Doo Jin from South Korea could read English well, but often found it hard to express exactly what he wanted to say to everyone (and I hasten to add no-one spoke any Korean to speak of). I felt really sorry for Doo Jin, because I think he was getting rather frustrated at this limitation being put on our verbal communication - I would if I were in his position.

Noticeably though, during the two weeks we were out there, the more we all talked together (which we did ALOT!), and got used to each other's ways of saying things in whatever version of English was available, verbal communication did flow more smoothly than before.

But it was still no smooth chocolate fountain.

I have to admit that I found it difficult to communicate (which for those who know me - know that's very unusual ("the girl who'll never have dead-air on the radio" ahem!!)

Please don't get me wrong - this is no-one's fault and I'm certainly NOT complaining, but it was immensely tiring trying to think of a number of different ways of explaining one thing, and meaning the same thing, and even then, you don't know whether someone entirely understands, or indeed if something was being explained to me, if I entirely understood.

It was really frustrating! Especially as because we all get on so well, all we want to do is share each other's experiences, talk to each other (about pretty much anything!) and really enlighten ourselves by knowing everyone. In some ways, rather upsettingly actually if you really think about it, in an ultimate way - this just can't be done.

What this showed me though was that universal understanding of something being communicated did not run fluently, and, maybe in another type of situation, could have lead to real divisions and maybe conflict. It demonstrated the limitation of verbal communication to effectively mediate interaction between people, even very similar people like us.

Musically, this hurdle was jumped with Olympic ease, as, if one of us was trying to verbally explain an idea we had, and the universal comprehension was in doubt - we just leapt on an instrument and played it, and also normally reverted to some onomatopoeic, crazy aural way of mimicking what we were trying to describe (I like to call it conductor singing - you always end up using your voice to sound like some castrated mallard to sound like an oboe or something! (apologies to oboists - you do honestly have beautiful sounding instruments!))

But that's really the point isn't it? (and no not that we all have to sound like castrated mallards - although, what an insult that could be to throw at someone..! I digress sorry!)

Music can communicate universally. You don't have to play something. You don't even have to be able to read music. You don't see it anyway. Instead it's a sensual communication which taps into your psyche and tweaks some kind of interactive synapse of understanding. You hear a sad piece for example, and instantly, you may not feel sad, but you connect with the feeling of feeling sad - which is ultimately understanding. And those sitting around you listening to the same piece will also connect with that feeling of feeling sad and various conjugations around that sense, and so on and so forth.

I don't know why I picked sad then - how remarkably depressing! Sorry!

Music moves you and people collectively in a way in which verbal language cannot always achieve (in my opinion - do correct me if you think differently - I'd be really interested to hear people's thoughts on this.)

And ultimately, you must be moved to actually understand something. Understanding something is a process in which you have to connect with something to comprehend the mechanics and sense and existence of the thing.

So how does this all connect to my interviews? (haha - HOW LONG HAS IT TAKEN ME TO MAKE MY POINT?!!)

Well, if you think about communicating with someone who doesn't naturally speak your language, it's sometimes difficult as it is. Now put that in the context of trying to interview the same person. Although I succeeded and everyone was happy with what they had expressed, this type of interviewing process was one I'd never had to do before. I had to try and make my questions, with the aims of opening up areas through the questions that I wanted people to talk about, comprehensive and accommodating enough to mediate an honest and satisfying response (from both my perspective and that of the people I was interviewing.)

This was really hard and quite tiring. I found I had limitations in my way of expressing a question compared to their way of understanding. It's not that I was asking particularly hard questions, because I wasn't, and all the interviews were basically about their experiences. What happened though was that after asking the questions, if there was a struggle of putting their answers into spoken English - I couldn't advise them or suggest words or phrases. That would have been putting words into their mouths - which completely destroys the concept of objectivity in journalism. AND I had no guarantee that the words I was thinking of would have matched what they were actually trying to say.

Bothersome to say the least.

And again - I stress, it's no-one's fault and it's certainly not a limitation of intellect or anything of such sort.

It's just something that had to be tackled and somehow resolved. How I did it, was just rephrasing questions, making it much more conversational (even more than I do usually) and checking that this is really what they meant.

It just struck me as rather intriguing the way this all transpired. Before I went to America, this did crop up in my mind, and I had contingency plans in my head anyway, so it wasn't difficult to adjust ways of interviewing, but I just found that it's a whole different ball game when you're actually there doing the interview and trying to make sure that people got their fair say.

Talking of fair - it does seem a little unfair that it had to be in English. An idea that's just struck me is that perhaps if I'd asked them to interview in their native languages I may have a more personal account from each of our team. Then however, I'd have the difficulty of the fact I don't speak half these languages (just my lil' ol' French A-level, lil' bit of Italian and swearing in Cantonese...) so even if they'd responded in their native tongue, my questions would have still had to have been in a language that to the interviewee is foreign...

Also, I'm thinking that as I plan to use their voices a lot in the documentary - would it really work for an English audience to constantly have a different language going on in the background and another voice in English dubbed over to translate? Not to mention the issue of translating it in the first place - which even without my permanent job at the radio station I don't think I would have enough time for, AND think of that well known phrase "Lost in Translation"...would a translated interview really be any more accurate than one just done in English?

OK, I think I made the right decision.

ouch - Thursday 21st August

Natalie got pretty blue lights last night - and three paramedics.

No joke.

So, something I actually wasn't going to mention on here (but now am thinking hey - why not?!) is that since I got back from CA (and while I was out there) I keep on getting cramps in my legs.

And yes I did do all the walking around on the 2 lots of 11.5 hour plane trips, yes I did wear delightful flight-socks, and yes I did do everything that apparently you're meant to on long-haul flights.

But, had to go to the doctors about it VERY early on Tuesday morning. (Hence the rather miffed blog that day!)

They thought I had DVT. AS IF I NEED ANYTHING ELSE TO WORRY ABOUT!!!!

The doctor skewered my arm - 5 times in the right because he missed, then stabbed my left arm, but was really embarrassed by this point so got jittery and it felt like he shot straight through my arm, let alone my vein, and took a blood test. OUCH!

I then had to go back to work, so with a severely empty arm I drove 50 miles (plus I think!!) back from virtually the Devon/Cornwall border (literally - it's metres away!) to Exeter, and then do a full day's work. I was not in the best of moods when I eventually got home that night.

So, come Wednesday, went to work, felt a bit weird, but carried on.

Come Wednesday evening felt REALLY weird, and then got excruciating cramp in my lung...yes that's right my lung.

I don't recommend cramp in the lung.

I then lost all feeling in my left arm, and when it came back slightly - I continued to have pins and needles in my left arm for about a MILLION hours.

Don't ever try to call out 'Devon-Doc'. They're useless. And if I really had been dying of DVT (which NHS Direct thought I might be - again, horrifically, no joke) my obituary would have been loo-paper recycled from old fish and chip paper by the time the doctor may have arrived - but that would've been if he hadn't clocked off at 11pm - it was 3 minutes to 11 when we finally got through.

So yeah, the local, out-of-hours doctor was never going to come to see me anyway - and someone else involved with Devon Doc (I can't remember who it was - I was a little out of it by then) had said that I should DRIVE, yes DRIVE myself to the hospital (because everyone else around had had a drink).

I had explained that I couldn't feel my arm, couldn't see properly, was developing cramp in my leg by this point too, oh yeah and the small problem of not being able to breathe or move...but apparently in that state - it's ok to drive. IDIOT.

We only called the out-of-hours thing because I hate calling on emergency services - because you blithely think, if you're conscious at the time, you'd be wasting their time as you're conscious!!

So, we bit the bullet and called for an ambulance as it wasn't going away, and, to be honest, I was more than a little frightened.

They arrived. I confused them. It wasn't DVT because I didn't have the normal signs - phew you may think. But then the question arose - well what the hell is it? Later followed by - "Why do you have symptoms of a spinal injury when you haven't got one?"

Good question I thought.

The last thing I wanted to do was go to hospital - and without wanting to sound really martyrish, I actually don't have time to go to hospital.

The paramedics were wary about this, but they were happy that I wasn't going to die at that particular moment and that I could be left to go to bed...saying as they left "but if anything gets worse, call us right back"

I felt so cared for (sans sarcasm - they really were fantastic - big BIG thankyous to the three paramedics who came out that night).

They left me with the instructions that regardless of whatever else - I have to go to the doctors in the morning and get all this checked out.

So I did. And never guess what's wrong...

My neck and all of my back are in serious, no-messing spasm - so much so that it's cutting the blood supply off to my arm and legs (and the top of my head - hence the 'not being able to see' part and funny tingling in my head (oh yeah forgot to mention that bit - pins and needles in the skull is particularly unpleasant as well!)) and THAT'S why I'm getting cramps in my legs, lungs, arms and well, seemingly everywhere.

And never guess what's brought it all on - exhaustion and stress!! OH I WONDER WHY!!

What's so funny about this whole thing though - is that mentally - I actually feel ok about everything - I know sometimes on here it seems as if I'm ever-so-slightly unhinged - but for those who know me - you know I am anyway (but in a nice way!) and also - it's just quite fun ranting and writing!

In my heart of hearts, I know I'm going to get it done because I have to...and I'm good with situations like that.

But what always happens is something has to give, and with me, it's always something physical...although normally that's breathing - says the chronic asthmatic... hehe!

So today at the Dr's - he said very strongly, "You are taking today off." very full stop. Later, I managed to get an emergency appointment with a wonderful sports physio lady - who ended up having to do a full body physio thing on me (again OUCH!) and found that only ONE of my muscles in my ENTIRE body is behaving...isn't that such a hoot!

She did say one of my now-favourite quotes about me though..."You're definitely a challenge."

Today though - I hurt...alot. I can't move, I ache all over and I feel like I've been a very taut trampoline skin for the National Obese Trampolining Championships.

I hasten to add - sitting at a computer doing the audio is NOT something I can do today. I'm not kidding about the not being able to move part.

Up side though - I am on massive anti-inflamatories...mannnnn...!

Time is a wonderful thing - I just wish I had some - Tuesday 19th August

OH OH OH OH Ohhhhhhhhh!

Sigh

Whine

(mmmmm wine)

grrrr

shiver


scared



Running out of time and STILL have barely started actually putting it all together.

OH God.

I have that little maggotty-crawling-around-in-stomach-feeling - so much so I can't sleep. Which really doesn't help.

Last week I wasn't getting home until about half 8 at night after VERY long days at work - and I still had to eat, which made it about half nine - how on earth am I meant to do a 15-20 minute documentary, recording all my narration (writing it would be a useful thing too), cutting all my audio up and sticking it all together?

Oh and I figured out what the 25th July was - some music which I could really do with right now. As I don't think blogs have a watershed - I'll just leave it up to your imaginations as to what I thought when I realised that.

So now...ah haaaa the solution came upon me - I am a composer after all - this is what this whole stupid project is about...so....write your own music - you can tailor make it to exactly what you need. So I am.

Only problem is finding that 26th/27th/28th ad inf. working hours of the day.

And don't even mention contextual review - I may cry if you do.

Upload Overload - Saturday 16th August

Yeah yeah yeah I know - why such a big gap?...have I been slacking? NO!! I've been at work. Although I love my job and I am very grateful to have it - DON'T EVER TRY TO DO AN MA AT THE SAME TIME!

As it is I have an 80 mile round journey back and forth to work - never finish at 5 because, as I'm sure you can imagine - news doesn't just stop at five (although sometimes I reeeeeeeeeeally wish it did!) I do have to eat sometimes as well, and by the time I actually get back during the week, and feed my poor broken and beat-up tired self - I'm knackered! (pardon the phraseology!) I have tried to do MA stuff in the evening - but I'm so tired I can't concentrate on it and then I get scared I'm going to mess it up! AND usually by the time I get back from work - I've been concentrating at a computer for so long already - I can't see.

Happy stupid days!

I am a stressed wee one - a wee one that is stressed is me.

I CANNOT believe it has taken me this long to even get the blessed audio uploaded on to my computer!

And oh God - did that want to run smoothly? Did it hell.

So the equation was this earlier on today...

(F x 8gb) + (c + usb + aa)
____________________________ =ma
N

(Key: F = Fostex, gb = gigabyte, c = computer, usb = usb lead, aa = Adobe Audition, ma = the alleged MA, N = Me! Natalie!)


It just looks so simple doesn't it?!

So I plugged it all in - the Fostex spoke to my computer and my computer spoke back - they had a nice conversation and decided to strike up a relationship.

But, like all relationships struck from the workplace - it went sour.

My computer started bending my ear about how the Fostex just doesn't communicate properly and everything it's saying is just gobbledygook (and oh how I'd love to know the Collins Dictionary definitive spelling of gobbledygook!)

The Fostex, like a typical partner (non-gender-specific) was carrying on blindly thinking everything is ok - and everything it was doing was right and it's the computer's problem.

"It's not me...it's you."

Adobe Audition meanwhile, like the good marriage counsellor, is sitting there just saying, "You're not communicating together, I'm not hearing anything. Talking to each other is something you need to work on."

Basically, what was happening was that ALL 8gbs of my audio was stuck on my Fostex and wasn't loading into my computer properly - they kept on coming up in Adobe as blank - which I knew they weren't, particularly after some frantic checking.

Hours had gone by already, many of my grey cells had evacuated the quickly crumbling matter that was my brain, and one half of me was waving goodbye to my MA project - over-reacting - I thought not (at the time).

But after checking things for the umpteenth time (again - Collins spelling!) and a very good nicotine fix I realised the only way to do it was to painstakingly transfer each one in the most manual way possible - namely click and drag and check, click and drag and check, click and drag and write down which one doesn't work, click and drag and check - FIFTY EIGHT TIMES!!

And some of them took around 15 minutes or more to transfer each - I was there for hours.

And I'm running out of time on my first day off since I got back, and it's my niece's Christening tomorrow - so no worky worky gonna get done then - we're expecting about 40 people (wish I were that popular!)

I still lost some audio - apparently the 25th July was a bad day - nothing from that day works...seriously.

I've cut my losses though- to be honest I can't exactly remember what happened on that day anyway - and I've double checked that I didn't do any interviews (via my useful notepad blog!) and I've found all that audio anyway...

Oh and just as a final thing - yes I am still writing things in my notepad-long-hand-COMPLETELY-UN-TECHNOLOGICAL-RELIABLE-PEN-AND-PAPER blog - as I can write stuff down as I'm going and not have to overload my computer by running two programmes (internet and Audition) at the same time (no -because that's too hard for my pc (a.k.a. Pretty Crap) AND it means I can get away from the evil glare of technology and run to the comfort of my slightly coffee stained notebook, probably curled up in bed and have a Bic-sponsored whinge.

So, this is why all the blogs are still having to be back-dated - because it's not working trying to blog on the actual day I'm talking about. I have found it is much quicker to just type it up (and add caustic remarks here and there!!)

Anyway - most of the stuff is on my computer - and backed up on an external hard drive - and it's still on my Fostex.

I just need to name them all now.

Oh and there's the small thing of editing and putting it all together...

6(ish) weeks to go...and I'm working 2 weekends this month, already done one, one to go next week in a glorious 6 day week.

Fudge.

Back in Blighty - Monday 4th August

Anyway - in answer to my parting thought...however many days ago that was (uhhhhh the wee one is so confused!!) the Fostex is fine - I did ask a lovely airport security man if he didn't mind just holding my memory card while everything else went through - and he said he would - it may have been because of my face and how I very desperately and swiftly said - THIS IS MY MA PROJECT....DON'T LET ANYTHING HAPPEN TO IT!!! (this is my liiiife...don't ruin it....I may die if you dooooo...please!)

It's a surprise they let me through LAX in the end really isn't it!

The lovely man reassured me rather well though as I was turning paler and paler with a nervous cold sweat trickling delicately down my right cheek (ok some serious artistic licence is going into this recount!! I'm tired - the only thing working is my imagination!!)

But I did ask, I did say THIS IS MY MA PROJECT!! and he did reassure me - and it was all fine - phew!!
Before that though - had a few hours to spare in LA - nice place to while away a few hours - particularly Korea-Town - and an all-you-can-eat Korean restaurant - mmmmmm!! Shame about the air quality and lack of visibility - seriously - Beijing thought it had problems - LA is like being shut in a sauna-come-exhaust pipe!

But anyway - Vedran and I had a lot of fun waiting for our check-ins (we were the last ones to fly out). We met up with a good friend of Vedran's who's Korean - hence the trip to Korea-Town. Did you know there are about 1.2 million people from Korea in LA - how cool!

I digress.

So checked in - found a Starbucks (it's not hard!) Had a coffee - bought some sunglasses (hehe!) and boarded my Air France jet back to Heathrow.

Tried to sleep - failed miserably. Watched countless films (again!) and started making polite conversation in French (at some hour somewhere in some time zone mid-air) with the air stewards, had a little chat with the people I was sitting next to, and then they fell asleep...annoying!

Landed..eventually. It rains.

Trekked across all of Heathrow to the bus station, with 26 kg of normal luggage, plus my 12kg max hand luggage (Jeff Capes eat your heart out) and then tried to spot my bus - but it wasn't there.

It didn't appear on the board until it was meant to be leaving - and that was only to say it was delayed - 'no REALLY!' I thought - 'think I could've worked that out for myself'!

No estimated time of arrival - just delayed....
delayed....
Still delayed...
lost...
lost to the world...
never existed...
you're going to have to set up camp in Heathrow bus station...
you're NEVER going to get home...
Home won't remember you...
Yes, this is a hole...
I've gone wrinkly...
I've gone grey...
Scouting around for a zimmerframe shop...
Buses don't exist anymore - they're now hoverbuses...
Apocolypse...
I can see the horses...
Jim Morrisson (ghost) singing This Is The End...
11th plague...
Thinking about my will...
Can I find a nice plot for me to lie down and DIE in in Heathrow...
...Probably not.
And so on!

The bus eventually arrived - I then got attacked by a very large group of international students - who apparently, for them, getting on this bus was a life or death situation and therefore just had to push past me and virtually knock me off the pavement to make sure that their 'oh-so-important' luggage was loaded..growl!

Eventually I got on, climbed to the top level of the bus (and not because I'm childish and I still like double-deckers and get all excited) but it was OAP central downstairs (of course no Stenna stair lifts on a National Express) and therefore no room on the lower level.

Found a seat - hooray I thought...

...What a fool I was - oh no - apparently the international students who had the oh-so-important luggage, find it inconceivable to sit separately, even one seat in front of the other (DISASTER apparently) so they badgered me in broken English to move...

International relations were almost destroyed at this point.

I gave up, I was so tired I couldn't be bothered to continue my fight to keep my seat - so got up...
...What a fool I was...

When I stood in the aisle - I could only see a couple of free seats next to people - so asked if I could sit there...were they free...were they hell.

Great - I thought. (And no - that wasn't the only thing I was thinking...or saying either...teehee p'eeed off Wee Nat is quite loud...amusingly!)

Finally this delightful women moved all her copious amounts of stuff for me (which was very kind) so I could actually sit down and start my 4 hour journey back to Exeter.

International students - sometimes I wish they just stayed international.

Anyway - finally got back to Exeter, the parents met me - had a small contre-temps with the international students AGAIN - because of course it was so important to get their luggage off first - yet it didn't occur to them that if you barge through at the departure point to get your luggage on first: your luggage is going to be at the back, and come off last - these students weren't natural equationists...!

Got in car...hour long journey home - and that ladies and gentlemen is how I was awake for 38 hours.

What's even better - I go back to work at the radio station tomorrow. Dear GOD help me.

F-F-F-Friday!! This is the end...Friday 1st August

How sad is today?!!!

I can't believe it's been two weeks - where the hell did that go?!! I'm now packing to go tomorrow...and I hate packing by the way - hence writing this blog - procrastination and distraction away from that gaping (decidedly empty) suitcase mouth which is trying to suck me into it's Dante's 8th circle - packingatory...

Today's been great though - I've been up to David's chalet to record some stuff for the opera (-non-opera).

I'm not going to reveal too much - because I really don't want to spoil the amazement that's blatently going to happen when people finally hear this next year - but basically my news-reader skills (alleged!) are coming in handy - and my very English accent, and the fact I have no shame and will quite willingly do loads of other accents (reasonably passibly!) without getting embarrassed!

We've made the latest list of what we've done, Martine's going to re-work some of the words (she's found our group and ways of working rather interesting and inspiring it seems..hopefully!)

And well, we're pretty much ready to go - and thankfully, David seems rather pleased with the level and amount of stuff we've managed to generate in these two very short weeks.

SO we can go home happy and content - like that wouldn't have happened anyway!

Ok my suitcase is scaring me now - don't like it!!

One final concern though that has occurred to me - Parting worry - what happens if the x-ray machines wipe all 8 and a bit gigs of audio off my Fostex... I cannot tell you what that makes me feel like.

And now - we pack. (and drink later!!!)

See you next in Blighty.

Happy Thursdays - Thursday 31st July

I'm very conscious that sometimes I babble on 'til the cows come home on here - so I thought splitting Thursday into two would be an easier task to read!

After interviewing Jana our producer - I had another idea about how to branch out the documentary...

Something which I haven't touched on on here, partly because I thought of it and discussed it before I had started up my blog - then completely forgot to put it on here (I will add more about this at a later date) I'm a little concerned how this project is going to very easily turn into some kind of very drawn-out commentary on the process from the inside by one of the insiders...

It has the potential to be very introspective, which could definitely exclude people...worryingly probably the audience most..!

The biggest problem is that I am so integrated and an integral creative input into the project - the whole idea of being objective and almost like an uninvolved, omniscient narrator is exceedingly difficult. I am trying, and I think at the moment succeeding with various ideas I have for how I'm going to put the documentary together, and equally as importantly what I'm going to say (oh God I still need to write that - oh God oh God oh God!!!)

Just as an aside - and serving partly as a reminder to myself for when I get back and actually get on to writing this thing (I so was going to be rude about it just then!) how on earth am I going to introduce myself as journo doing the doc, and musician in the project...crap (sorry language I know - but I could say a lot worse)

ANYWAY - Jana mentioned about the fact that Apple is basically sponsoring the whole thing (hence the Macs) - I think they're thinking it's great PR!!

So together with the TAC (Transatlantic Arts Consortium) who are funding it - we're getting the equipment like the Macs from Apple and they've taken a really big interest.

Well I wanna know why!!

So Jana's given me the number of the lady who the Counterpoint of Tolerance project's been dealing with - and, although I can't do it while I'm in the US, and it is going to have to be a telephone interview (**which I need to check whether I can include a low quality phone interview in my project...!!) as long as I have time - I'm going to try and get Apple's side of the story too...should be interesting.

Also along those lines - I've got those two journalists I mentioned the other day - so that adds an 'outsider looking inwards' element - again finding out why this project is so interesting...

Unfortunately, the New York times and LA Times were meant to be coming - but I don't think they're going to make it now - but that would've been a good tangent to go down out-looking-in-wise, which is a shame...but I am expanding it.

Do I need to expand it more - I don't know - I think that's going to emerge when I actually get the audio laid down...

Will I have time to get more audio on this when I'm back - God only knows.

I still need to try and get Peter Gabriel - ambitious I know - but he's done projects like this before (as Sue Steward so wonderfully reminded me when she came down to Falmouth the other month!) and he would be a GREAT voice on the documentary...

So much to do so little time.

Zeee proverbial cann izz filling - Madness sets in - Thursday 31st July

What was I worried about..? Of course I would get everything done...! hehe - may have left it a little late - but everyone is now done - and very well as well! Pleased little wee one right now!

It's been a lovely day today because of the interviews - unfortunately, I've had to sacrifice my time on the music as, like I was saying the other day - there just isn't enough time to do both - so roving reporter head got plonked on this morning and throughout today and I've been milling between parties and sniffing out great interviews.

And, as per usual, the others didn't mind at all!

Another reason for it being so lovely is also hearing what the others have to say about the project just hammers home how special and incredible this project is.

I am not alone in thinking it's remarkable how we all have just clicked and what a colossal amount of stuff that's already been generated, and although man-hour wise, we've been burning the midnight oil, but on the creative side - it's just flowed organically with no problems to speak of.

Also, some of the reasons for people applying for this project are near-prophetic. It's been beautiful listening to that today; very, very humbling to think how lucky I am to be a part of this.

I've got all the audio I need for the ten of us - the only people I need to do now is more from David and Martine.

Now we're so close to leaving (booo!) my thoughts are turning to when I get back and this epic bit of editing and putting together I now need to do...

By the end of these 2 weeks - I have a feeling that my 8G card is going to be full - I have nearly 50 pieces of (sometimes rather lengthy) audio which will need to be clipped up, well uploaded first (with brand new equipment I've only uploaded something small from before - eeeeeeep!!) sorted out and named, THEN clipped up, write my script, record that (hopefully I can use the studios at Gemini...hopefully!) stick it all together - work out which bits I'm going to float over music, which bits of music I'm going to use, write up all this stupid blog that I haven't been able to do with stupid intermittent rubbish internet in the mountains (I suppose I could've been expecting a little too much there for working internet!) ummmmmmmmm what else - oh yes of course, how could I forget - my 5,000 word contextual review...hmmmmmm

Oh and not forgetting holding down a permanent radio job in Exeter - right, sleep, eating, life, I may see you again one day.

One thing I forgot - Tuesday 29th July

BBQ!!! Jana - our producer kindly invited us to her house in Idyllwild for a BBQ - and wow - yummy!! I am stuffed!

Again another time to blow off steam - sometimes you can work too much on something and it becomes stagnant - but I think we're striking the balance well!

Oh and the picture is from Jana's veranda - thought it was nice - I like the mountains - it's so pretty!

Wordsoundswords and interviews - Wednesday 30th July

Today is a really good day - our writer, the librettist, has flown in from New York to see how her (and David's) words are being worked on, interpreted and realised...how exciting!

Martine Bellen is the fabulous word lady and so far she's been really positive and pleased with how things are going - which is a relief as a new pair of ears and eyes are always the best judge of an ongoing project within which we are all so integrally and personally involved.

It's really great that we're finally getting to hear about what Martine intended with her script. And, fitting with how the rest of the project has been organised and is rolling along - she's very open minded and free with the treatment of the words and her part in the creative process.

Go to her website here to find out more about the marvellous Martine!

What's also very useful about today is that we've consolidated what we've done already again. Because there are so many elements to this process - it's quite hard to keep track on what's going on.

I'm working on three/four stories at the moment with others from the group, and even that's hard to keep track - let alone keeping up to date with the other nine/ten stories and the overall picture.

Plus we're all quite proud of what we've done so far as well - so it's another good excuse to show it off a little too! hehe!

We also have had the Idyllwild Arts paper journalists in today who have interviewed some of us on how it's going and the project as a whole...ironically, one of the main questions they asked is what I was talking about the other day about composing is usually a solitary thing - so how is it affecting us as composers to be thrown in together and work collaboratively...finger on the button - brilliant!

I also turned the tables on them too - I grabbed hold of my microphone and recording equipment and interviewed them about why they were interviewing us!! haha! It's a good interview - unexpected, but very pleased!

I've also finally managed to get some really decent interviews in the can now as well - not everyone, but some - so feeling a little better today...that bugging feeling in my stomach is settling a little - but still need to crack on.

Cue Queen - 'It's a Miracle' - Tuesday 29th July

24-hour death-germ - I think so! Feeling ridiculously better now - still coldy - but can completely deal with that - although it is more unpleasant when you're stuffy and it's really sunny and hot - but, if this is all I have to suffer after yesterday - I can deal with that 'til the cows come home!

Nothing really new to report though - we're still working - things are still going really, really well and we're still having an amazing time!

MA-wise (keep on forgetting that's actually what this blog is about...whoops!!) I am getting a little concerned about the interviews etc. etc. because I just haven't had enough time to sit down and actually do that many. I mean I've done some - but no where near enough for a 15-20 minute documentary...

Honestly - I'm actually more than a little concerned.

But, we leave on Saturday - which means I need to have everything done by Friday, and it's Tuesday...no problems...really...oh Godddd!!

It's just so hard doing all the music, and writing stuff longhand for my blog - because there isn't enough time to be dilly-dallying on the internet, so I have to make random notes everywhere (!!) and also trying to approach the others, who are also VERY tired, asking if it would be ok to do the interviews now...so difficult! After all - for the rest of the group, and me as well, the reason for being here is for the music - my MA project, although it's in the forefront of my mind, and is very important to me (obviously!!), it's not the priority...it's just one of! And I don't want to force it on the others, nor me either because we all have much more important things to do..relatively! Also, it's not because the others aren't willing to help - there is literally not enough time, and only a certain amount of things are physically possible...

There have been a couple of times when I could have done some interviews, but everyone was so tired it was not worth it - my interview technique would have gone out the proverbial window, and the answers would probably not be as passionate as they could be..and I want the others to be pleased with their interviews too...complicated or what!

But, it's got to the stage where I just have to knuckle down and get it in the can - regardless - (remember Nat - once these two weeks are over - you have to go back to the UK and you can't come back ('til next year for the performance..!) which means you just have to get everything, more than you need in the can)

Ok - inspirational speech over.

I hate Mondays - illness decends...Monday 28th July

I'm ill - feel like death very much warmed up. Not impressed!

I've spent the whole night awake feeling miserably ill - and it's typical - you stop for ONE DAY!! that's it - one day! and you get ill - grrr!

I went to the work room earlier, just to distract myself from feeling so unwell, but then it was too much - and it takes ALOT for me to say that!

So I took myself back to the room - I'm now in bed, can't really see properly - so writing stuff down is a little difficult.

I think we're having informal tutorials on the music programmes we've now got on our Macs, so I'll catch that up later - meanwhile - I'm rolling over - hopefully the toes won't turn upwards...although it feels distinctly possible right now...this better go away soon.

uhhhhhh

The Mountains are a-callin'!! Sunday 27th July

DAY OFF!!! yey!! and my word do we need it!! I cannot stress how hard we've been working - an loads has been done already - which I've said, and as I've also said - this is a good thing.

Obviously, there's still tonnes to do, and now we have less than a week left, AND none of it is set in stone - everything is fluid and open to change and manipulation.

But enough of work today - it's our day off and Syrse and I are taking ourselves off to Idyllwild town.

It's stinking hot and we're going to walk MILES to the town -but it'll be nice to get outside (we've been working inside so much because we have to with the instruments, playing and computers etc.) So, we've been watching this beautiful weather and not getting out in it - but today - the mountain town's calling!

I think we're going to the cinema later as well - which should be good - it only has one screen and on that screen is the new Batman movie - so a good break is in store me thinks!

Right, we're off - speak to y'all later!

Consolidation - Saturday 26th July

One week gone - and where are we? Well, virtually all of the different stories are being tackled, worked on and extrapolated some way or another by either individuals or groups or pairs etc. etc. and, to be honest it's really making sense already - which is quite amazing.

We have all kinds of different approaches which is demonstrated by these pictures (above) - these are two 'plans', blueprints if you will of two of the pieces - really brilliant way of explaining things, and all drawn up together in groups as well (happy composer families!)

Something that struck me and also the others as it transpires, is that the normal, everyday (if you can call it 'everyday') role of a composer is one which is quite an autonomous, individual, ostensibly solitary and even autocratic in a way...

If one thinks about it, a composer sits and writes their music which comes from their brains, their minds and their imaginations...and not forgetting their personal influences...

When it comes to the composers music being played - and that's another thing - we refer to the music as the composer's, generally we consider it as theirs... so in playing it - instrumentalists/musicians/performers, whatever you wish to call the realisers of the music, will invariably try to adhere to the composer's wishes (which would be given/suggested/muted in performance directions, performance notes, theses (ahem Wagner!)) which means the generator of the music, the person/mind through which the genesis of that piece of music is made possible is still in many respects autonomous.

Now, obviously, part of the magic of music is that not everything is pinned down to a strict, regimented and immovable frame within which to perform, but performers add their own inflection and interpretation on it, but essentially with Western music, any practitioner will try and be faithful to the composer's original intentions.

N.B - before I carry on with this emerging thesis (sorry - you would never guess I did a music degree eh?!!) this idea of (nicely...generally) autocratic composition/composer can only really be directly projected onto Western Music, as a number of world musics are not structured in the same way - for example a lot is of oral tradition - therefore are not written down, and don't really have a specific composer - rather, it emerges from community and culture, story-telling, social guideline infusing and so on and so forth. (again I could bang on about this too...did a lot of world music in the BMus!)

My rather drawn out point is that we all have wondered how merging ten composers, who are all used to working fairly individually and completely solo as the solo composer is going to function by throwing out this solitary idea - we are after all going to have to work effectively as a composer team - 10 different world voices creating one world voice, one piece...one world piece (see what I did there - and you wondered why I had such a cheesy title to this blog - now you know!!)

Now, I've already gone over, probably too many times now for you poor readers (but I am getting over excited about this process every day!) but what's happened, is quite easily, we've all thrown all autonomous notions, all inhibitions and grouped together like one creatively pulsating organism...hmm nice image there..!

Letting you into a secret though - virtually all of us have revealed and admitted that we did wonder if there might be some difficulties with strong characters and this sense of autonomy and interestingly possession of the music being created, and how that might cause clashes...

Obviously, no one can predict the future, so all I can truthfully say is that so far...clashing seems to be the furthest away from this collaboration...it's no where near to featuring in our vocabularies, and to be honest, I don't think it will to a massive extent.

It's sounding like the Brady bunch, I know - but when you put together such similar people, who also differ massively in background, experience, influence and so on, who are quite willing to very easily throw all inhibitions out the window and just go with it then, well, it works.

There have been instances obviously where some one has written something, or hears one of the stories in a certain way that in discussion each one might be a little more forceful trying to put their idea across - but in all honesty I think the main reason for this isn't because we all want our individual bits to be pedestalled above ever one else's because we're particularly pleased or proud of that bit, but it's more the slight difficulties of communication and ensuring that each person is understood.

I'm aware of space at the moment and how long this ramble is going on for (I have completely added to what I wrote originally!) So I'll write on the proliferation of the English language next - how enthralling!

Bye for now!

Technology - it's an amazing thing! Friday 25th July

Last night - some utter brilliance happened in 416 (Jxel and Ivan's room a.k.a party central (but shhhh! and yes - we STILL working REALLY, REALLY hard and just burn off steam of an evening - it's healthy...! tehe!))

So anyway - we only managed to hook up my recording equipment to a Mac and record straight into the computer in to one of the really funky programmes we have and Syrse made a complete, BRILLIANT multi-voice module with just her voice - amazing, truly amazing!

I love this group - this is what we can all do - and it's all coming together just naturally and organically - David was such a clever man picking all of us - genius!

Today we wrote more - and much more we did write! Jxel, Ivan, Syrse and I are working on one particular story which has many different ideas in it - so we're working together to get an overall form (for want of a better word) to it.

It's very odd composing together with people - it's fantastic, but I can't quite explain how it's working!

I think, going back to David's selection process, we are all very open and flexible people - who thankfully are the type of absorbing people who bounce off each other's ideas too...it is really hard to explain - it's almost, not 'if it ain't broke don't fix it', but 'if it ain't broke, don't try to explain it'!!

What is interesting though is how, usually, composers are solitary beasts who work alone writing their music. What this is doing is throwing extroverted introverts into one big melting pot and the more cooks the better it seems!

A huge elastic-band ball can be ravelled together after someone has just one tiny idea, and then it spirals into a naturally collaborative entity...like a shoal of fish, each one is individual, but we're all working and moving together collectively and individually rippling, but overall creating a pulsating mosaic of energy and inspiration - and yes, that is the only way I can get vaguely close to explaining what's happening here...and I think that's really the essence of the literal meaning of A Counterpoint of Tolerance...David really is a clever man!!

As for the MA project - no problems with the music collection - in fact I feel quite like some kind of musical anthropologist right now!! Bartok - eat your heart out!! (pah - wax cylinders - the future's Fostex and the future's gigabyte!!)

Interviews - well, getting there! There is so much vibrancy in this group musically and socially that it's very difficult to a)find the time to sit people down individually to speak to, b) pick the best time - as we only have two weeks and we all want to make the most of it c) find more time to really be able to concentrate on how I conduct the interviews - it's going to really test my interviewing skills with some language barriers and obviously, with the shoe on the other foot, what it must feel like for my fellow composers to be on the other end of that microphone trying their best for me.

And they are SO willing and helpful - I feel very supported with my project - a big thank you to all.

In fact, in my next blog - I'll explain a little more about the difficulties I've had already and what may lie ahead interview-wise - it's very interesting and, well really quite remarkable how music, and our fluent communication through that medium is just that, fluent, but the interviews and the MA project, with no offence intended WHATSOEVER (because the language skills are phenomenal - as I'll also be explaining) BUT the interviews are going to be interesting to tackle.

Stay tuned (harhar!)

MacBook MacBook MacBook - Thursday 24th July

MacBook MacBook Macbook!!

Ok I've already blogged today, which is about a page ago - all very confusing I know - but stay with me!

And to epitomise how happy we are about our MacBooks (which we got today - thank you TAC and Apple!) look at the Happy Feet happy penguin dancing!!

I'm so glad today we got these - was getting worried about the blog too - still am - time is not a luxury I have right now...but yes - did have enough time to find that website and get dancing penguins - but it didn't take that long...honest!! Nor did it take that long to put them in the others...honest!!

MacBook MacBook MacBook, dancing penguin, dancing penguin, MacBook!! yey!